It’s almost time to take your zombie outbreak survival test to find out if you are ready to survive or if you’ll just be in the way when the crap hits the fan. In these next two articles I’ll refresh your survival memory and get you warmed up for my final exams. In my last article, I listed my Zombie Apocalypse Survival Rules. In my October 15, 2012 article, I discussed weaponology considerations for surviving a zombie outbreak. I’ll cover more weaponology info here now. Okay…at the end of this article I’ll throw in a couple of reviews of zombie movies coming out in 2013…just ‘cause I know you want me to.
As I said before, weapons are social equalizers. If something or someone threatens you, a gun or other weapon can improve your chances of surviving the encounter.
The great thing about America is that there are plenty of guns and ammo accessible to the average Joe. If you don’t have guns and know how to use guns, well you could at least make friends with cool people like me who do; although, for a zombie outbreak, I’m not planning on being very friendly (re: Zombie Apocalypse Survival Rule #2, 2c), but maybe other people will.
The best weapons in a zombie outbreak aren’t traditional weapons. Here is a short list of the three absolute best weapons:
- Distance – stay away from zombies
- Stealth – hide from zombies
- Speed – quickly get away from or quickly kill zombies
Use these to your advantage and you will have a great chance of surviving a zombie apocalypse.
Just to refresh your memory from my October 15, 2012 article, you need a long rifle. The AK47 is one of the best. It’s good for close to long range accuracy, durable, very easy to find ammo and parts (if you are not in the US), and takes lots of combat abuse. The US M16 (and its cousins, the AR15 and the M4) is really a piece of crap. But it is also common enough in the US that you could easily purchase one, find ammo for it, and locate replacement parts and accessories. A crappy M16 is better than nothing.
You also need a long sword. I prefer the katana or samurai sword. If you can find a military grade machete, get two of them; one for each hand. These chopping tools were forged for use in hacking your way through thick jungles. You will quickly appreciate how the machete will hack up zombies in your way without much work.
You will also need a large caliber hand gun or two, or five. Look for semi-automatic guns rather than revolvers. A 9mm with a 15-round clip size will work since 9mm ammo is also very easy to find.
Everything else you might think to stockpile for a zombie apocalypse is just extra. Sure, shotguns have their limited uses. Bows and crossbows are good for doing things quietly. Shotguns and bows have negative issues with how fast any shooter can load and reload these.
Good things in a pinch: metal baseball bats, large meat cleavers, long one-hand swords (the real ones; not the ones just for display). Bad things: short knives, chain saws, flame throwers (fire).
Guns that can be silenced are ok because zombies are attracted to gun fire and just about any loud noise. But the silencers you see on TV and in the movies are greatly exaggerated in how quiet they can make a gun. There is no such thing as a quiet or “silenced” gun.
Routine uses of dynamite and other explosives like hand grenades are not very useful on zombies. Claymores and other anti-personnel mines are great zombie stoppers. The average Joe won’t likely have access to explosives and land mines or other such devices.
You should set your booby-traps to either immobilize the zombie or to kill them with a head shot. So a hand grenade or other explosive rigged to blow up at about neck level is better than a hand grenade on the ground.
Again, land mines are great weapons against zombies. They are very useful as an early warning device and as a safety measure when you need to get some sleep. You can mark your landmines very plainly so you will see them at night and in the daylight and so “friendlies” can tell where they are. Friendlies are non-asshole non-zombie survivors who help increase your chances of surviving. The low level zombies will not be able to avoid your booby-traps even if you place them in plain sight. Just be careful because a random zombie could set off a land mine when you are very close to it.
Fire is not very useful. Chemicals are not very useful. Electricity IS very useful.
Electricity works extremely well against zombies and assholes. Use it if you got it. An old Harvard zombie study showed that electricity was an exceptional anti-zombie weapon. It also showed that hand-held tasers and stun guns tended to NOT work against zombies. The best way to use a stun gun on a zombie is to put it directly on its head. The jolts of electricity will short out the zombie’s infected brain and make it fall down and stop attacking for a few seconds; kind of like forcing it to reboot its hard drive. However, this is getting to close for comfort to zombies if you ask me. But you can still use a taser on any non-zombie assholes you encounter.
During a zombie outbreak response, one team drew all the zombies to a central location and then fired up their military grade tanks, bulldozers, and steamrollers to run then over and crush and flatten them in bulk. You have to be aware that tactics like these are more effective than gunfire because there will likely be millions of zombies out there to disposes of.
Q: Why are you hating on M16s?
A: M16s and AR15s are political weapons. Some Congressman got his lobbyist friends to push this weapon to get mass produced for US military use. Look into it and you will find that there are several US guns that tested higher for military combat use than the M16. Some congressman was owed a favor and Colt got the contract. Plus keep in mind that the M16 is a military gun and the contract for these things often goes to the lowest bidder, with the lowest costs. The US M14 (also known as the M1A), which fires the more expensive 7.62 bullet, is actually known to be one of the best combat rifles ever made in the world, but those bullets and that gun are too expensive for mass production for the US military, so that makes them hard to find out there. The US military assault rifle of choice was selected based rigged favoritism and politics, so you can really get a sense of the issues with the M16. Take a look at the M16 and AR15s reviewed and in action on YouTube.
The AK47 is a worldwide tested weapon. Any gun nut will tell you that the AK47 is better for zombie killing than an M16. It has a bigger bullet and so it makes a bigger hole going in and coming out of a zombie. This bigger, higher powered slug also causes greater hydraulic damage on impact with a zombie, meaning you may not always need to shoot the zombie directly in the head with a 7.62 bullet to kill it. A high chest shot could cause enough cerebral damage to stop the zombie. When that large, high-powered bullet smashes through the zombie’s upper chest, the zombie will be thrown back and shockwaves of percussive energy will rattle its brain, bouncing that infected organ around inside its head, scrambling it well enough to do the job. Tests at Texas A&M proved this. This is why ZORT teams are always outfitted with M14s and other 7.62 combat rifles and machine guns, like my favorite of them all the M240 Golf, and not M16s. So the extra cost and extra weight of 7.62 rifles and bullets will prove to be worth the investment.
M16s are good anti-personnel (not anti-zombie) weapons because the smaller caliber 5.56mm (.223cal) bullet spins at a high rate and as it exits the rifle barrel, it is spinning enough to ricochet around inside the body it hits, puncturing several internal organs before it stops, making almost every shot deadly; “one shot – one kill”. However, this small spinning bullet does hardly no significant damage to a zombie unless you shoot it in its head. Puncturing internal torso organs isn’t as useful on zombies. So with an M16, you will almost always need to hit the head of the zombie. The back and sides of the head are the best place to shoot, but you can also aim for the zombie’s eyes. A spinning .223 bullet ricocheting around the inside of a zombie’s skull is pretty effective. You just have to know zombies probably won’t stand still posing for your head shot. You will need to practice and consider the power of the 7.62s to do significant damage even if you do not hit the zombie in the head…or consider the shotgun for it’s ability to work well without preceision. You need to make your choices and I already made mine. So if you get your hands on M16s and AK47s, keep your M16s handy for when dirt-bags show up and try to take your shit. Use the M16 against them for “one shot – one kill” and save your M14/M1A or your AK47 for the zombies.
Tip: The best assault rifle accessories for surviving a zombie outbreak? 1) Large capacity ammo magazines—think drums. 2) Bayonets—the longer, the better. 3) Scopes!
Tip: Practice! Practice! Practice! The world’s greatest rifle is nothing more than a wimpy club if you don’t practice with it and get up close and become very familiar with what it can and cannot do. If you don’t practice, you will die fast.
The M14 on YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lzSJOUkirzM
I love this video! Does it sound like this guy is up close and very familiar with the M14?
Tip: If you can’t practice with the real thing, I guess video games like Call of Duty (especially with their zombie mode) is not a bad option. You could also get toy versions of real weapons to practice with. I guess that’s better than no practice at all.
Springfield Armory USA gun company’s website where you can see the base model M1As/M14s:
Okay, that’s it for your weapons refresher. In my next article I will refresh more zombie outbreak survival tips and strategies and tactics. I may also offer some you haven’t heard before. This will be your last warm-up before my final exam. Please review my past zombie outbreak survival articles. If you have a question, send it. Leave some comments and let me know what you think.
Here are two movies I’m looking forward to in 2013:
Warm Bodies comes out in February: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IQ3ZwtyKs_o
I like this trailer. It has a very interesting concept of a zombie outbreak where zombification may not be a permanent condition. This movie looks very cool with a humorous slant to zombie movies. It’s on my list of go and see. I’m excited.
World War Z comes out in June: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HcwTxRuq-uk
This movie is on my must see list also, but I hear the movie is not much like the book. That’s not a big problem for me because while I liked Max Brooks’ novel a lot, it left me with a lot of questions. In the trailer, you can see zombies moving in massive hordes. In my previous articles I covered advance level zombies and only advance level zombies can move anything like the zombies hordes in this trailer. The hordes would be more accurate if the zombies moved a lot slower even as a massive horde. Plus the hordes in the trailer are gigantic consisting of what looks like 1000s or hundreds of thousands of zombies swarming all over the place. I’ll talk about why this sort of multi-million-zombie horde swarming all over the place is not possible in later articles. But if you have read my previous articles, then you’d already know why hordes like the ones shown in this trailer are not possible.
Thanks for reading my articles!