Let’s face it, most gamers are not built like Greek gods, but rather if we shaved our heads would could pull of Lord Buddha. I am sick of being an over weight gamer. (Sorry, but not much Magic to talk about in this article.) See back in August I realized that I was 30 years old and was treating my body like crap and even worst at Magic tournaments. During FNM or a GPT I would smoke a pack of cigarettes over the course of the day, down a can of soda between rounds, and did nothing but sit for 50 minutes out of each hour.
Now I didn’t just smoke the cheap cigarettes, no I smoked the top-shelf, red packaged, cowboy killers that cost $8 a pack and I smoked four packs a week. That’s a Bonfire of the Damned a week or two Force of Wills a month I was just lighting on fire. So I kicked the habit and kicked it hard.
But when you stop smoking there comes the weight gain. I had been content with being around 266 for most of my adult life. But when I went to see my doctor in September and that scale was just four pounds away from hitting 300 I really started to hate myself. I started going for long walks but the weather was starting to turn and now it’s that muddy kind of fall before the deep freeze of winter. I couldn’t think of how I was going to find a way to shed the pounds.
Then this Friday happened I was waiting for my buddy Kenny to show up so we could head down to Game Citadel for FNM. Kenny Live two towns over so it takes him sometime to get to my house so once I have all my gear packed I’m standing out side if the rare warm sun waiting. After about ten minutes I send him a text, “I’m fat. I’m going to start walking towards town.” So with my fifty pound backpack I start the mile hike towards town. At the halfway point my weight lose idea hits me.
I hate going 0-2 in a match just as much as I hate doing sit-ups,from now on I’ll do ten sit-ups every time I get swept in a match. Push ups I’m fine so I’ll start doing ten of those for when I win 2-0 or when I have a bye. I start to think more about it and decide that I need to figure out 2-1 and 1-2 matches. This came down to which I would hate more lunges or squats. I quickly sorted it out and assigned my punishment for getting 1-2’ed in a match will be ten lunges, and do ten squats when I win 2-1.
That only left draws. Unintentional draws are just as bad a lose in my book because it eats up the ability to intentionally draw to lock for top eight or prize split. Also I think that unintentional draws boil down to misplaying and wasting time in the match. So from now on when I get a 1-1-1 match record it’s time for five sit-ups and five lunges. Intentional draws on the other hand, well, if you got time to learn you got time to clean as they say. Drawing into top-eight or spliting the prize means I’m not playing for at least another 55 minutes so I’m going to bust out twenty of both push-ups and squats.
Oh, and this just isn’t for FNM and Grand Prix events. I’m going to do this for any match of Magic causal and online as well. I haven’t done any commander yet, but I think that is going to be based upon the number of opponents left in the game being ten of something. Now I might not have any GP byes or Professional Points at the end of this season, but I’m either going to have some jacked up arms or one hell of a set of six-pack abs. My goal is to slim down to 220 pounds by March 17th.
The reason for this goals is that this is the cut off point for points to enter the Magic World Cup Qualifiers. Being that I live in the United States I have I need 500 points to qualify for the qualifier. I’ve already got 296 Planeswalker Points this year. I only need 104 more to que, but I also want to have at least a one round bye for the Grand Prix season after March 17th, and be in the best shaped of my life. Just based upon going to FNM that one round buy is a thousand push-ups/squats more away with I don’t know how many sit-ups/lunges between them.
Which brings me finally to this weeks FNM report. Forty push-ups and fifty sit-ups. With a fifth place finish in the 4:00 event and a twentieth place finish in the 7:30 event. What can I say, it was one of those nights. When things worked they worked, when they didn’t really didn’t work. I was playing the Black/Red Vamps deck from my article two weeks ago. Only changes I made was that I cut two Murders for two Dreadbores and removed the Ultimate Prizes in the side for Slaughter Games. Clearly I I’ve got not much a game verse Control either my treats keep getting wiped or they get countered. I need to invest in one or two more Cavern of Souls and finally pull the Vampire Interlopers out for Falkenrath Aristocrats. The deck need to make the jump to that next level. Also I think the Dead Weights can come out for Tragic Slips now.
Okay, that all I have for now. I’m doing this challenge to reach my own personal goals, but I would love to have some moral support so send me a tweet, #fenschallenge, either to cheer me on or join me in getting ripped for the WMCQ’s.
This has been…
Jeffrey Carmichael II
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