If you’re like most working mothers, it becomes easy to forget how to enjoy this time of year when there is always so much to do. The list grows longer as the days count down the rest of the year and taking a moment to breathe is probably the last thing on your mind.
Studies show that we have much more control over our lives than we may think. We often overestimate our personal reactions, thinking that we may be too sensitive to handle bad news or an unfortunate incident. It’s the same reason why walking through a haunted house is so scary; we anticipate the jumping and screaming way before it actually happens.
By simply focusing on the act of being positive we can greatly change our reactions to everything. A woman who thinks to herself, “I can never keep the weight off” or “I can never hold a relationship longer than a year” should not be too surprised when those very same thoughts turn out to be her reality. Psychologists would argue that her negative attitude has already set limits for her, making it impossible to open up new opportunities for change.
So, talking yourself out of a successful relationship may be a bit extreme, but your own day-to-day habits of setting limits may be more common than you think. For example, do you ever catch yourself muttering under your breath while doing some light cleaning in your home? Do you often think about what else you must do and begin to dread the tasks before you even start them?
Not only does this make the tasks appear mountainous, but don’t be surprised when your personal level of productivity isn’t too impressive. Although they’re nothing to be excitied about, you can certainly avoid feeling down about yourself, your spouse or your kids whenever you’re washing the dishes, changing diapers or separating the laundry. House chores may be tedious and time consuming, but talking down to yourself will surely make the entire experience a negative one.
Establishing a routine where you continue to talk down to yourself allows your mind to build up anguish, unnecessary stress and negative emotions towards tasks that could otherwise, be relatively simple. By letting the routine of negative emotions cycle through you every time you pick up around your home, you’re allowing your mind to recognize this scenario as nothing but negative.
Instead, tune out the negativity by blasting upbeat music, pouring a glass of Pinot Noir and wearing your newest pair of knee-high boots. Whatever your little pleasures are, embrace them and use them to cheer yourself on. You’re a fantastic, confident person who works each day to support a growing family. Becoming your own cheerleader takes practice and may feel silly at first but it keeps your mind from brooding in negativity. Not only are you maintaining a positive state for yourself, but you are a positive role model for your kids.
The next time you have fresh stains on the carpet to clean, keep in mind Snow White’s “Whistle While You Work” and tackle it with a smile. Remember, a genuinely positive attitude changes everything.