One of the predominant issues my generation faces, though there are many, is the divorce rate.”As per the Americans for Divorce Reform, an approximate of 40-50% of marriages in the U.S., would end in legal separation if the present trends are likely to continue,” (www.divorcerate.org).
Particularly, this seems to be a major problem among the 20 to 29 age range, which may come as no surprise. It is typical to associate young people with having a lack of understanding when it comes to matters of the heart. After all, doesn’t wisdom and knowledge come from experience? Moreover, it would also seem to be the case that young people do not fully comprehend what the commitment of marriage entails. Owing to current trends, it is clear to see how this type of lifestyle sprung about. For the most part, the way of thinking attributable to our generation is one characterized by immediacy. We endulge and take pleasure in things to satiate our immediate “needs”; hardly considering the future.
As the fictitious character Gordon Gecko put it, we are the Ninja Generation. Quite a fitting acronym which stands for: No Income, No Jobs, and no Assets. Ironically, Gecko could not have been more precise. The lifestyle of twentysomethings–post 2008 global economic meltdown–could not be described as anything less than careless, with respect to our lack of concern for preparing for the future. On the one hand, I understand how our generation may come across as mindless but, on the other hand, there is ample reason and logic behind our hedonistic ways. Nevertheless, let us return to the matter at hand.
From experience, I have witnessed many friends marry their high school sweethearts only to end in divorce. But why does this occur? Perhaps it is because they simply settled for what they had. To put it another way, it was the only thing they knew and to go out in the world and “play the field” would be to take a great risk. So, for some, the alternative of marrying one’s high school sweetheart is appealing because it is safe. There is nothing wrong with this path unless, of course, you are not truly in love. Then to wed is merely a move out of convenience. This brings me to my next question. Why be with someone if you do not truly love him/her? A simple question. However, the implications are far more convoluted.
This may come across as cold and aloof, but I believe it is better to be frank and tell an individual you are not in love with him/her once there is the slightest indication that you feel this way. In the long run, it will not only spare you both from making a mistake (i.e. marrying out of convenience) it will also allow you both to move on and find someone that each of you really do love. You will thank each other in the end.
As regards playing the field, it allows a person to filter through the people one does not have chemistry with. It is a means to an end. Simultaneously, this method permits one to figure out what he/she likes in a partner as well as those things he/she does not like.
Over the last few years, the number of negative connotations surrounding marriage has appeared to increase. Marriage does not seem to have the same regard as it once did. Many would even go so far as to say that the institution of marriage is unrealistic. On the contrary, I believe it is the assumptions we hold going into marriage that are unrealistic. Case in point being the preconceived notion that people stay the same when in actuality people change and grow throughout the lifespan–resulting in different tastes, preferences, and life goals. Therefore, one’s perspective may be quite different at the onset of a marriage when compared to his/her views later on down the road. Do not be disgruntled however. Change is a vital component that facilitates mutual growth and understanding in a relationship. I will discuss this issue further in a later article, but for now, my advice to anyone who is sincerely contemplating marriage: When it comes to marriage do not simply settle. Instead, be honest with your companion but above all be honest with yourself.