In life, you will hear a lot of different opinions, and do you know which kind affects you the most? It is the negative. Part of the reason is because when we were growing up; our parents did not pay much attention or acknowledge our positive qualities or outcomes. However, the moment we did something that was not accepted, our parents would punish and put a lot of pressure on us to change. Growing up as infants, we will make many mistakes. When our parents put pressure on us to change because of our mistakes, we built the habit of believing that it is okay to feel the pain and need to change in order to be accepted. At a young age, we tend to believe that if our family does not accept us, then no one will. As a result, we believe that we need to change our negative qualities in order to be accepted into our family and society in order to experience true happiness.
However, true happiness can only develop from self-acceptance. Self-acceptance means you should accept for who you are from the inside and outside, positive and negative. The more you accept yourself, the higher your self-confidence the higher your happiness level.
Even though we all want to only hold on to our positive qualities, we will encounter a lot of suffering if we do not accept our negative qualities. In life, there are always two sides to everything. For example, the color black cannot exist without the color white. A left side cannot exist without a right side. In this case, positive qualities cannot exist without negative qualities. The only reason why we label something negative is because something else is already positive. If the term negative does not exist, then the term positive would not exist. In addition, negative and positive are just terms that we put labels on things and people, but the true meanings all depend on you. Something negative for you could be positive for another. The qualities that you label as negative, they do not necessary means bad. It is just that you already label something else positive, so something else has to become negative.
In addition, you will realize that your negatives help develop your positive qualities which make you unique. You will discover that when you try to change your negative qualities, your positive qualities will also change. When you change one thing, something else will change. So if you want to keep your positive qualities, then you must accept your negative qualities.
To help increase your self-acceptance, you want to focus more on your positive qualities. Every time one or more of your negative qualities take your focus, just become aware that it is a part of you and then refocus back to your positive qualities. You can write down your positive qualities and reinforce them as much as you like. The more the brain sees your positive qualities, the more it will stay focus on them. Your positive qualities are anything that you consider positive to you; even though others might think they are negative. They could also be your successes, small and big. Usually your successes tend to develop because of your positive qualities. Try to reinforce your positive qualities and successes the first and last thing of the day to help build the habit. You want to start and end the day with a positive mindset.
“Happiness is really a deep harmonious inner satisfaction and approval.”