Cheers, my dark and demented kiddies…Looks like we’ve survived another apocalyptic year in no small thanks to a fresh batch of impressively morbid goodies, many of which would have collectively stained your silver screens black and red if theaters could even find the testicular fortitude to show them!
Although most film critics don’t have the balls required to plumb these newfound depths of depravity, those with enough courage will emerge on the other side (albeit after many hot and soapy baths), triumphantly hearkening 2012 as a banner year for the horror genre. While other media publications swamp you with pretentious, so-called “best of 2012” lists destined to put you into a permanent slumber, your loyal media daemon and macabre sin eater has collected the delectably worst offenders spawned by the film industry’s – very alive and kicking – bastard children.
Rip apart your deceitful newspapers, spit in the face of your hegemonic media transmissions, turn off your whitewashed crap and surrender to the glorious exorcism of your restless demons. These cathartic fiends will disturb your comfortable perspective on reality, fuel your wimpy nightmares and permanently traumatize any unwitting observers you can sucker into your living rooms…
This year’s dark crop was too abundant to squeeze into some puny top ten list; it contains both wide releases, as well as more hidden underground gems, and features a wide-ranging, international cast of both veteran and promising neophyte directors. It includes the first official Israeli horror film of all time (Rabies), two of the best features (Mother’s Day, The Barrens) from one of the field’s greatest emerging contemporary directors (Darren Lynn Bousman, continually improving auteur of the Saw films, Repo, the Genetic Opera and 11-11-11), flicks banned in their native country (A Serbian Film), the new film from Pascal Laugier (director of Martyrs, possibly the most disturbing film of all time), the first true horror offering (Cabin in the Woods) from the director of our summer’s biggest blockbuster, The Avengers. Other undiscovered treats include several of the best found-footage scenes ever committed to film (Apartment 143, V/H/S), top Asian imports (Guilty by Romance, Bedevilled), impressive sequels (The Collection), stylistic diversity that ranges from postmodern zaniness (Detention) to old fashioned, vomit-worthy grindhouse (Rogue River), and many other wicked surprises waiting to sear themselves into your visual cortex. Enjoy, devour and maintain for your fortuitous reference the most comprehensive, diverse and thorough “best horror of 2012” list you will find…ANYWHERE.
Just remember kiddies – when you stare into the abyss, the abyss stares back into you…
The Best Horror Films of 2012: (in no particular order)
1) Cabin in the Woods; Directed by Joss Whedon
2) The Divide; Directed by Xavier Gens
3) Apartment 143; Directed by Carles Torrens
4) Rogue River; Directed by Jourdan McClure
5) V/H/S; Directed by Adam Wingard, Ti West, et al.
6) The Barrens; Directed by Darren Lynn Bousman
7) Bedevilled; Directed by Chul-soo Jang
8) The Tall Man; Directed by Pascal Laugier
9) Red Lights; Directed by Rodrigo Cortes
10) The Collection; Directed by Marcus Dunstan
11) Kill List; Directed by Ben Wheatley
12) Detention; Directed by Joseph Kahn
13) The Aggression Scale; Directed by Steven C. Miller
14) Mother’s Day (remake); Directed by Darren Lyn Bousman
15) Rabies; Directed by Sebastian Cordero
16) Guilty of Romance; Directed by Shion Sono
Other Honorable Mentions: A Serbian Film, Julia’s Eyes, The Caller, The Theatre Bizarre, The Tortured, Woman in Black, 388 Arletta Ave., Entrance