When other people act—in our view—strangely, they’re crazy, right? What they’re doing doesn’t seem to have a rational motive, and we often ascribe various negative motives to their behavior: they’re lazy, they’re “just trying to get attention,” they’re trying to make us angry, they don’t care about anybody else, and so on. That’s because, if we were acting that way, that’s what it would mean for us. But other people are not us. Assuming people are “crazy” creates conflicts. Conflict resolution happens when we try to understand the other person rather than labeling them.
Most People Have Reasons for Doing What They’re Doing
People’s actions are driven by their needs—for safety, love, approval, recognition, being heard, and so on. It’s useful, then, to assume that whatever someone is doing (or saying) comes from a need—not from a desire to bother you. Here’s a story: an American woman had just come back from visiting the Mexican countryside. In telling her friend about her experience, she said, “Mexicans are really weird. They have this habit of just standing out by the road, alone or in groups, for no reason. They just stand there. Don’t they have anything better to do?” It turns out that, in Mexico, if you stand by the side of the road, wherever you are, the bus will stop for you. You can just walk out from your village or your house out in the countryside and stand there. When you see the bus coming, you wave and the bus stops right in front of you.
Sexually Molested Children Often Start Acting Out
That’s a more serious, troubling example. Children don’t have the social skills and verbal skills to let adults know that they’ve been hurt in this way. Especially when it’s a complicated situation—the perpetrator tells them he’ll hurt them or their family if they tell, or parents have a history of ignoring the child or punishing her for things that aren’t her fault. Also, children don’t have language for painful body feelings or emotions that arise in them. They do the best they can to express the emotional pain inside them: they cry at the slightest thing, they “throw tantrums,” they say “no” to everything, they refuse to talk, they get extremely clingy, and so on. Seemingly irrational behaviors with expression of a need at their core. Trying to understand the underlying reason for their behavior not only helps with conflict resolution between parents and children, or teachers and children, but helps to heal the child’s emotional pain.
Assume People Are Expressing Needs the Best Way They Know How
Whether your child is rebellious, your spouse seems to be acting irrationally, your boss or employee’s behavior seems inexplicable, it’s often useful to assume that there’s a good reason behind what they’re doing. Assuming they’re “crazy,” “just wanting attention,” or trying to pester you just to bother you breaks the connection with the other person. Asking questions to find the reason is a good start to forging a connection again. Often, it’s a good thing to get help from an outside objective person. For more information on creating effective relationships and conflict resolution, check out eft-emotionalfreedom.com .