Mercury Retrograde 2012 Holiday Season Horoscopes
Capricorn, Aquarius, Pisces
By: Brad Kronen
December 22nd – January 19th
Since the Earth signs learn things most effectively through the process of repetition, and since a planet’s retrograded motion is an indication for us to look back to the past, Brad thought it would best be“hoove” (get it?) this month’s horoscope of the Goat to discuss the upcoming Holiday Season Retrograde Cycle of the planet Mercury by referencing that most beloved story of Holiday Season’d literature which he has previously implemented in times past as an effective tool of Capricorn learning – Charles Dickens’ “A Christmas Carol”.
Except this repetitive time around, focus won’t be placed on any of the Holiday classic’s lead characters which everyone is already more than familiar with, such as Ebenezer Scrooge, Marley’s Ghost, or any of the 3 Christmas Spirits. Rather, the astrologer whom each of you are goat butting yourselves for not dressing as this past Halloween has chosen a most minor sideline personality from the fictional Holiday masterpiece, whom Brad would bet his millions most can’t even recall being in the story’s plot, as the most effective example to emphasize the karmic principles for the sign of Capricorn during the 3rd Mercury Retrograde of this year – Scrooge’s nephew, Fred.
But before digging ole’ Freddy up, let’s hash out the astrological nitty gritty details regarding the upcoming backwards tail spin of the planet of communication for those born beneath the sign of the Mystic Mountain Goat! Retrograde Raaaaaaaaaaaadical, eh Goat Guys and Girls?!
The first half of the 3rd Mercury Retrograde Cycle of 2012 will begin on November 7th in the sign of holiday mirth and cheer, Sagittarius, in The Capricorn’s House of Spirituality and Unconditional Love. On November 15th, the planet of communication and also of siblings shall continue its backwards trek when it goes in planetary reverse into the sign of Death and Transformational Change, Scorpio, in The Capricorn’s House of Friendship, Legacy, and The Future where it shall travel in reverse until shifting into forward motion on November 27th.
Charles Dickens’ work of literary genius, “A Christmas Carol” is a Holiday tale whose morals are excellent examples which everyone should adhere to, most especially those born beneath the sign of Capricorn. The story’s themes are particularly pertinent for the sign of the Mystic Mountain Goat, and not just because both take place during the same time of year.
The first half of Mercury’s reverse cycle takes place in the sign of goodwill towards men, Sagittarius, in the Capricorn’s House of Unconditional Love. This can be astrologically translated to the written word as the opening scene of “A Christmas Carol” where we are first introduced to that most miserable of misers, Ebenezer Scrooge, and soon thereafter to his young, Holiday Happy nephew, Fred.
Poor pure hearted Fred attempts with all his jovial might on Christmas Eve Day to lighten up his cheerless Uncle, whose negativity is so all encompassing, it would make Pippi Longstocking want to park her car in the garage for a good stretch of time with the engine running, but the nephew full of goodwill fails as earnestly as he tries. The buoyant young man doesn’t stand a hint of a chance in changing the old curmudgeon’s heart-felt wish that “every idiot who goes about with “Merry Christmas” on his lips” end their life cycle on this plane of existence “buried with a stake of holly through his heart.” The rich but horribly cheap man’s only living relative is SO ineffective, we aren’t even given his name until much further into the story, when Scrooge and The Ghost of Christmas Present observe Fred in the midst of playing Holiday word games with his wife and many friends. While Ebenezer’s actions remain in their dark, Holiday hating, unevolved state, his only blood relation is nameless and known only as “Scrooge’s nephew”.
Being ruled by “The Great Malefic”, Saturn, Capricorn is reputed to be a “cold” sign, where those born beneath it are said to have a tendency to perceive things as being half empty rather than half full. Plus, humorless truth be told, this yuk yuk cranking astrologer doesn’t even bother trying out any of his side splitting jokes on a Capricorn, if their age is discovered to be under 45. (Remember, Life goes in reverse for the sign that pays all their dues in the first half of theirs). Besides the planet of communication’s backward stint in the sign of g00d spirits (of both the happy and alcoholic varieties) during the Holiday Season acting as a reminder for you Goat Guys and Girls to cut down on those 18 hour work days and crack a smile on those very serious pusses of yours now and then, Praise the Gods there’s a defined time of the calendar where it’s expected that everyone act with sense of cheerful goodwill towards humanity at large, each and every year.
We learn of Fred’s mother in a very brief passage when Scrooge is escorted by The Ghost of Christmas Past back to his schoolboy days. Both watch the Past unfold as they witness a teenaged Ebenezer face the grim reality of spending yet another Christmas break alone on the school’s deserted grounds. But just as they come upon the morose boy, the doors burst open and a joyous young girl runs in, announcing to her “dear, dear brother” that she has come to take him home for the holidays, never to return to the strict and o so lonely school again. We come to find out the girl is Scrooge’s younger sister whom the teenaged Ebenezer calls “little Fan”.
Many a production of “Christmas Carol” will cut this short scene in order to conserve time and costumes (it’s the one and only time we see Scrooge’s sister), but I believe this scene is one of the most important of the entire tale and should always be kept as an integral part of the Holiday story’s wondrous plot, my Cappies.
The reason being that amongst the many scene and character changes which make up the most loved of Holiday tales, this short, and hardly ever performed scene mirrors the real time life of its author the most.
Charles Dickens, himself had a sister, a Scorpio whom he was very close to, who from all accounts, was a force of positive optimism for the writer through her constant encouragement of his talent.
Her name was Fanny, “Fan” for short.
The author of the greatest of Holiday ghost stories was given the horrible Fate of watching his sister slowly succumb to the pain- racked horror of consumption, eventually losing her battle with the terrible disease at the age of 37.
Like little Fan, Fanny Dickens died soon after giving birth to a son.
The second half of the planet of communication and commerce’s backwards stint takes place in the sign of Death and Transformational Change, Scorpio, in The Capricorn’s House of Friendship, Future, and Legacy. Allow Brad, if he may, to translate the previously mentioned astrological info into Dickens-ish, o last of the Earth signs.
After coming across like a complete lunatic upon asking a neighborhood kid what day it is, many readers believe that Scrooge then next skips through the streets and spends Christmas Day with Bob Cratchit and his shabby family after ordering the kid to buy the prized turkey that’s as big as him.
This is incorrect.
After being transformed by the 3 Spirits and notified that indeed, it is Christmas Day, Ebenezer Scrooge does purchase the prized turkey, but has the gargantuan bird delivered to his clerk’s home by handsomely paid delivery boys. The re-born man who thereafter “was always said of him, knew how to keep Christmas well” heads straight for the home of his nephew, where he asks if he be allowed to enter and dine with him and his stupefied-to-silence family.
Ebenezer Scrooge spends his first real Holiday as a changed man at the home of the son of his dear, deceased sister Fan, his nephew, Fred, who warmly welcomes him in, making sure his Uncle feel “he was at home in 5 minutes”.
It barely needs translation that the planet which rules over communication, but also over sisters and nephews, Mercury’s 2nd half of backward motion, a dynamic which symbolizes looking to the past, shifts into the sign of Death but also of Transformational Change, Scorpio, in the House of Friendship, Future, and Legacy of “the cold sign”, Capricorn.
Keep Fred in your hearts throughout the 3rd Mercury Retrograde Cycle of 2012, the Holidays, and all the year round, o children of Saturn, and your Future is secured by making the world a better and warmer place for all of us.
*Dedicated to the memory of my earth signed brother John Joseph, who with his Fred-like approach to both Life and the Holidays, Brad and his family dearly miss during the Holiday Season and all the year round.
January 20th – February 18th
There’s a running joke about how serious your sign takes the concept of friendship, Aquarius. It goes something like:
“Never bad mouth an Aquarian’s friends in front of an Aquarian because you will, in effect, be bad mouthing them.”
This is not to say that those born beneath the sign of The Water Bearer will automatically be anyone’s BFF instantly after being introduced to them. The ice cold, Tundra-like reception given by the Aquarian, along with their verbal threat of calling the local authorities if you don’t keep your distance should hint otherwise, if one mistakenly takes the automatic friend approach with the last of the Air signs.
Because the most individualistic sign of the Zodiac naturally rules over the House of Friendship and The Future, the process of becoming tight buds with the Aquarian is a long and arduous one, and should not be attempted by those with weak constitutions or with a pre-existing heart condition.
Friendship with the Aquarian must be earned.
If, after all the preliminary intelligence testing is passed and the various military-esque obstacle courses are successfully completed, you are indeed deemed worthy of friendship by the Aquarian, they are your friend for Life.
This is the type of friend you can call at any hour, day or night. And should you urgently buzz their home in the wee hours informing them you’ve got a dead body in your trunk, within minutes, the Aquarian friend will be by your side, shovel in hand.
Eerily extreme examples of requesting the need for an Aquarian’s friendship aside, let us return to our opening joke once more before tying it in with the 3rd Mercury Retrograde Cycle of 2012 and its specific themes for the sign of the Shovel, I mean Water Bearer.
Given what’s been said about the fierce loyalty and hardcore intensity those born beneath the last of the Air signs attach to the concept of Friendship, let’s consider the “Aquarian identifies themself with their friends” joke once more, but with an added karmic conundrum:
What if the above mentioned bad mouthing is being said about the Aquarian and the person doing the bad mouthing is considered to be a good friend of his/hers/shim’s?
Those born beneath the sign of the Water Bearer will be loyal to a fault with those specially chosen whom they deem worthy of their friendship, never considering the remote possibility that those whom they call friend may not nearly be as intensely committed or genuinely truthful in their comradery as the Aquarian is with them.
Well, Mercury may be changing all that this month, my loyal to a fault ones.
The first half of the 3rd Mercury Retrograde Cycle of 2012 will begin on November 7th in the party hearty sign of empty promises, Sagittarius, in The Aquarius’ naturally ruling House of Friendship and The Future. On November 15th, the planet of communication shall continue its backwards trek when it goes in planetary reverse into the sign of Death and Transformational Change, Scorpio, in The Aquarius’ House of Status and The Public where it shall travel in reverse until shifting into forward motion on November 27th.
Despite being the intellectually elite of the Zodiac with genius minds that bring forth thoughts of never before brilliance, there are times when the Aquarian needs to be bashed over the head before understanding a concept that is much more structurally simple. To be blunt, with the planet of communication going backwards in the party hearty sign of Sagittarius in the Aquarius’ very own House of Friendship, some Water Bearers may be finding out this Holiday Season that some of their buddies are not cracked up to what they seem to be and should no longer have the privilege of Aquarian Friendship.
Due to their beyond stubborn nature, telling an Aquarian to end a friendship is like informing them that herewith, they are no longer allowed to access the internet or watch any form of Star Trek for the remainder of their computer geeked life.
Demanding the sign who dares to be difficulty different to NOT do something, will only make the Water Bearing person bond to the negative person or thing stronger than ever before. The only way an Aquarian would ever remotely consider severing the bond of friendship with another is through the erring actions of the disingenuous/manipulating/using/fair weathering friend in question, never because another wills them to do so.
The planet of communication’s retrograde motion will assist bringing these actions front and center within the Aquarian’s field of vision this month through the implementation of either empty promises, hypocritical judgements, or by their actions being glaringly out of synch with their words, so that even the most intellectually geniused of Air Signs can’t confuse the obvious fact that the time to part ways as friends with these unworthy ones has finally arrived.
Should this be the friendship ending case, the 2nd half of the planet of communication’s backward tailspin into the sign of Death and Transformational Change in The Aquarius’ House of Status and The Public will assist the Aquarian with the process of closure by making it verbally official that the obligation of friendship is hereby null and void with said unworthy one, and for the general public to be made aware of this Aquarian structural Life change.
They say that in order for a hearty tree to healthily grow, its branches must be extensively pruned back. The typical Aquarian is averse to change of any kind, and if that change is the ending of Friendship, it may seem almost impossible for the Water Bearing person to well, bear.
Know that whatever changes November holds for you will be in your best interest, my Futuristic ones, and need I remind the children of Uranus that their Friendship is truly a gem of a precious gift, whose unique specialness should not be poked and prodded by every sticky finger’d hand in the Universe.
With that said, I’ll leave you with these Leonine words of wisdom uttered by one of Brad’s music teacher/mentors which puts the specialness of Aquarian friendship into crystal clear focus:
“The higher up one goes in the Pyramid, the less space there is.”
Your sign’s concept of friendship can be likened to the mystic eye which sits atop the Pyramid of currency, Aquarius. Should the bond of Aquarian friendship dissolve, that futuristic eye which sees much, but has room for little, should spot a more deserving candidate, far off in the distance, immersed within a colorless crowd but soon to emerge as a larger than Life, technicolored companion that shall prove to be most worthy of receiving that most unique of Aquarian gifts soon thereafter, o fiercest of Friends.
February 19th – March 19th
Each sign of the Zodiac has inherent strengths and weaknesses, Pisces. The changing astrological times of late have provided ample proof to both y0ur Fishy selves and the rest of us that the last sign of the Zodiac’s best features are their powers of intuition and psychic perception. Intriguingly, both of your sign’s inherent strengths grow ever stronger these days, along with many a Piscean’s inner self confidence, now that your planetary ruler, Neptune, is currently freestyle stroking in its home waters (aka your sign) at present, and for the next upcoming decade.
So to Retrograde Recap, the 2 strongest assets inherent to The Sign of The Cosmic Fish are Intuition and Psychic Perception.
Communication? Not so much….
Tuna’d Truth be told, my wet ones, Communication fits quite nicely as a headliner for your sign, but on the side of the stage that’s opposite from the “Inherent Strengths” section.
Quite often, words are the best ways for the Piscean to trap themselves, like bathwater clogged in a drain of accumulated hair-balls, or swept away by the power of their at times overwhelming current, leaving the last of the water signs stammering with their words, mumbling, or beating around the coral bush and not able to express exactly what they want to say. If communication is required in a setting involving more than 1 person, many times both Cosmic Fish will dart off in opposite directions, rendering the Pisces speechless altogether.
But that was all before Neptune cannonballed into the Piscean pool….
The planetary ruler of Pisces, the planet of Intuition, Deception, Escapism, and Spirituality, Neptune, dropped anchor in its naturalized waters of the sign of the Cosmic Fish last February, and will synchronized swim in its ruling sign for the next decade and a half.
Not only have the intuitive capabilities of those born beneath Neptune’s ruling sign been expansively growing quite significantly throughout this calendar year, the level of self confidence of many a Piscean has pushed its way out of the demure background of humility, so inherent of their sign as well.
This deviation of inner confidence has shocked many, including the self assured Pisces, him or herself. So different is this change to the water signed persona, it has gone right to the head of many an over confident/borderline cocky child of Neptune.
Which leads us to the upcoming Mercury Retrograde of the Holiday Season…
The first half of the 3rd Mercury Retrograde Cycle of 2012 will begin on November 7th in the party hearty sign of bragging and empty promises, Sagittarius, in The Pisces’ House of Status and The Public. On November 15th, the planet of communication shall continue its backwards trek when it goes in planetary reverse into the sign of Death and Transformational Change, Scorpio, in The Pisces’ House of Faith, Religion, and God where it shall travel in reverse until shifting into forward motion on November 27th.
With the planet of communication going backwards in the sign known for its unevolved behavior of bragging and telling tall tales in their House of Status and Public, the recently amp’d up in confidence Piscean may feel a strong desire to shoot their mouth off for all to see and hear at this year’s Thanksgiving table. The liklihood of this coming to pass will be exponentially so, should the Piscean fall prey to the influence of the party hearty sign and partake in the drinking of wine, beer, or egg nog – in excess.
Whether the communication runs afoul by either bragging or attempting to “one up” another, the Pisces will most likely regret what they’ve said for all to hear with the 2nd portion of Mercury’s backwards cycle taking place in the sign of Death and Transformation, Scorpio. With Part II of the planet of communication’s reverse spin cycle happening in the House of God and Organized Religion, along with the fact both Mercury and Saturn will be in the sign of Scorpio, which rules over insects, for our current interest in particular, spiders, an ancient tale comes to mind for every child of Neptune to remember as words of warning to buffer their own – the myth of Arachne.
Mythologically, the masculine side of the planet of communication is associated with the Messenger of the Gods Mercury. However, if we view the planet of speech from the most mutable of perspectives since we are dealing with its Retrograde Cycle in a mutable sign for you mutable wet ones, we come upon the archeptypal energies of the planet of communication in its feminine form, through the ancient Greek goddess of wisdom and strategy, Athena.
Long, long ago, Athena, the goddess of wisdom was told of a mortal’s foolish actions. The goddess learned of a girl named Arachne, who was orphaned at a young age and learned to weave intricate patterns in cloth in order to survive. Arachne’s talent in this difficult art form immensely grew over time and was honed by her hard work. The girl’s weaving became so in demand, she opened her own gallery in ancient Athens called “The Weave”.
It was at “The Weave” that Athena’s High Priestesses approached Arachne, asking her to give thanks to the goddess for her prosperity by donating some of her ever-growing abundance for the upkeep of Athena’s great temple which still stands to this very present day.
The High Priestesses’ requests were denied.
Not just that, Arachne also told the ministers of Athena to leave the gallery and never return, since it was quite obvious that her magnificent weaving skills didn’t need the help of some washed up goddess with a run down temple.
After being informed of this defiant display of hubris, Athena had to see for herself if this mortal was indeed so daring as to intimate she was greater than the very Gods, themselves. She entered The Weave in the form of a kindly natured woman who was very advanced in her years.
Upon entering the gallery, Arachne approached the goddess and asked disingenuously, “Can I help you?”
“Perhaps you can, Miss” Athena said in a gentle, elderly voice, “I was interested in weaving a lovely scene involving owls.”
“Owls? No one weaves owl scenes anymore. Phoenix imagery is what’s hot these days. They’re on every latest model of chariot and newest design of tunic high fashion.” Arachne retorted.
“Perhaps”, the goddess pretended to temporarily agree, “but the owl is the favored animal of the great goddess whom our fair city is named after, Athena, and…”
Arachne interrupted Athena as she threw her head back and scoffingly laughed.
“Here we go again!” The girl marvelled in mocking disbelief. “Another one who wastes their time and energy trying to please those nothings from the past, the great and mighty “Gods”. Look around, Lady! This incredible gallery and everything in it is here because of me and my amazing talent, and not because of some dusty old goddess or me weaving pictures of her birds.”
The old woman flatly stared at Arachne, unresponsive and unplussed by her self adulation.
“Fine. Owls it is, Grandma.” Arachne’s eyes rolled harder than the fastest moving chariot wheel as she brusquely went around the gallery’s main counter and continued to insult those who were divine while grabbing the proper materials from the weaving supply room.
“Besides, why would anyone want to pay homage to a goddess that dresses like that battleaxe Athena anyway?” Arachne mused from behind the supply room curtain. “You’d think from all that armor, the goddess of wisdom’s really a eunuch and not even a…”
“Woman?” Athena answered for her.
The foolish girl emerged from the supply room, only to find the little elderly woman had transformed into the Goddess of Wisdom, herself, glorious in her presence and resplendent in her shining armor of breast plate and helmet.
Arachne stopped, motionless and slackjawed. But only for a few moments.
Much to Athena’s shock, the mortal girl dropped the weaving supplies before the feet of the goddess, looked Athena in the eye, and challenged her in a most brazen tone, saying, “You think you’re better than me?? The great Arachne begs to differ. I challenge you to see who’s the better weaver.”
The goddess was so stunned by the girl’s effrontery, she actually began to respond in acceptance to Arachne’s challenge. Upon remembering her divinity however, Athena stood back, lifted her spear high over her head and decreed:
“Hear me, vain and foolish mortal! You dare compare your skills to mine, and within the walls of my own city? You shall repent your boast! The great Arachne shall continue to weave her creations unlike any mortal, each of which shall be undone by the slightest wind or the softest rain, of which she is doomed to create again and again, for all Eternity.”
The first thing Arachne felt was her abdomen harden as she fell to the ground, screaming in anguish. The pain from both her sides burned all over, as numerous leg-like appendages sprung from her body, which of itself, shrank more and more, until the former human now bore 8 legs and was the size of her formerly human hand.
The first Arachnid, or spider, had just been created.
We must always remember that we mortals are the vessels of divine inspiration and talent, and never the source, Pisces.
…Surely as the spider’s web is washed away after a gentle rain in mid-Autumn.