Poor Roland Weary. No matter how much he scrubbed, he always smelled like bacon. That’s how Kurt Vonnegut described the memorable sad sack character, whom he created for his anti-war classic Slaughterhouse-Five.
Fast forward four decades later, and Weary’s liability has become so great an asset that if he were alive (and real), he could make a fortune off his scent.
That is obviously the goal of J&D’s, the retail website whose motto is “Everything should taste bacon.” The latest creation of Justin and Dave (the J and D of the name) carries their love of cured pork fat to a new sensory dimension.
Meet (meat?) bacon shaving cream. The innovation is a limited-edition offering that, according to the press release, “is best used after a hot shower or before an important date with someone you may want to spend the rest of your life with.”
A video report from Seattle station KIRO-TV notes that at least one local barbershop swears the lather is top-notch. It really smells like bacon, too.
“You’re going to feel good, you’re going to smell good and you’re probably going to taste good,” J&D’s Dave Lefkow is quoted as telling KIRO. “This is something that every bacon-loving American male needs.”
As noted earlier, the production run is small: about 2,500 units. The price, moreover, is an immodest $14.99. The same amount will fetch you 12 cans of Barbasol.
Some might suppose this is strangest creation to come off the J&D’s assembly line. One would be mistaken. That distinction might belong to the bacon coffin(!), a genuine lifesize casket draped in a bacon shroud ($3,000), or to BaconLube, a product designed for bedroom use by consenting bacon lovers. Both products have ceased production, but Mmmvelopes, business envelopes that seal with bacon-flavored glue, and Bacon Lip Balm are still available.
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