There is a direct link between our self-esteem and our sex lives. The lower the self-esteem, the less sex we have until we enter into periods of drought that make the Sahara look like a wet dream.
Let’s face it. If we don’t like what we see in the mirror, chances are, we aren’t letting anyone else see the goods, either. And so it goes a vicious cycle begins whereby we hate the way we look so won’t have sex with anyone and we cut ourselves off from relationships which often leads to further depression; a depression where we punish ourselves with food by over-indulging or starving our bodies. With either extreme, we end up with dissatisfactory body image, and this dissatisfaction mean we can’t get no …satisfaction; or rather, we won’t. We refuse to reward ourselves by denying our very sexual nature.
So what can a person do to break the cycle? It starts with wanting to break the cycle. Eventually, a body begins to crave that all important human function of sex and physical touch. Our bodies are wired to desire skin to skin contact whether it’s hand-holding, kissing, caressing or intercourse. If we weren’t created for this kind of contact, we’d just be floating energy orbs with no hands, no lips, and no naughty bits. Boring!
Once a person realizes they actually want a sex life again, action is required. It’s not going to magically appear by wishful thinking. This action may be joining a gym, eating healthier, paying attention to clothing choices, hygiene, a makeover; anything that improves appearance and increases the attraction level to the opposite sex. When the sexless singleton begins to address physical attraction via these means, confidence builds. It’s the combination of confidence and “making the package pretty” that shines like a neon sign to the world of other interested singles and shouts “Job opening. Applications being accepted!”
Sexual dry spells happen to everyone at some point. The reasons are myriad, but usually have to do with a broken heart that creates a feeling of unworthiness. While it may be necessary to go through the long winter of sexlessness to work through issues, it should not be allowed to last. Necessity is the mother of re-invention. To get back on that stallion and ride like a very naked Lady Godiva, reinvent yourself. Color your hair. Purchase a new wardrobe. Go on a vacation somewhere exotic, and open your mind to the possibilities of meeting someone new; someone who makes your spine tingle and your heart flutter.
Don’t be that person sitting home on a Saturday night reading an old smut novel for the millionth time with a box of tissues and a bag of M & Ms. If this is you, I apologize for outing you! Imaginary characters are no substitute for the real deal. Want it. Work for it, and invite it back into your life. Your sex life may have taken a hiatus, but it’s time to bring it back home!
Suggested by the author:
- Hard body for hire: Interview with Showtime’s Gigolo Nick Hawk
- Meet the new Gigolo! Ash Armand adds a touch of exotic to the cast
- The voice of experience: Interview with Gigolos reality star Brace Land
- 5 signs he’s flirting with you online
- Fetish Friday: The giving and receiving of a good spanking!
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M. Gwynn has authored two books, Harvest and The Cat Who Wanted to be a Reindeer on Amazon.com .
All articles by Michele Gwynn are under copyright and cannot be re-posted whole without written consent by the author. Partial re-posting with a link back to the original article is permitted. For consent, questions, or comments, email firstname.lastname@example.org.
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