Online dating can be a wonderful thing. Obviously I fully support this view or else this column wouldn’t even exist. In a world where sometimes people genuinely don’t have the time or desire to peruse the bar scene, online dating becomes an ideal alternative. Rather than spending night after night meeting Mr./Ms. No on the regular, you have the potential to cast your net wider from the comfort of your home. Likewise, online dating provides a nice layer of anonymity so that you don’t have to officially reveal personal details about yourself (such as name, phone number, etc) until you’re truly ready. Depending on the dating platform you use, you can get new matches sent to you as soon as they occur or at set intervals. And, some sites even offer a personalized touch in the way of matchmaking.
Now for the record, everyone knows that I’m not against matchmakers. Sometimes, it takes an objective third party to see potential mates for us when maybe we wouldn’t see it as clearly on our own. But today, I saw something that really made me do a double take. It felt to me, like someone had taken the lazy approach to online dating and multiplied it to an extreme level. I’ve kindly blurred out the email and posting ID attached to this Craigslist ad that was placed in the writing jobs section of the New York board. But what we have here is a Wall Street executive who’s too busy to set up their own dating profiles or even take the time to connect with a potential match to set up times for a call. And for some reason, it put me in mind of the character Jeffery Donovan played in the movie Hitch, Vance Munson. If it doesn’t ring a bell, watch the video in this article.
In theory, I get where the person is coming from. Life gets in the way and it can be tiresome to join an online dating site, set up a dating profile, weed through various prospects and narrow down your options to a viable pool. But I don’t agree with how this person is going about it. Rather than researching a reputable matchmaker who could do this guesswork for him or her, they’ve decided to hire some random social media person to do this for them. Am I the only one scratching my head?
To quote Anderson Cooper, “keeping them honest”, I’m a social media marketer. But just because someone is competent at social media doesn’t make them a competent matchmaker. Driving likes and retweets to a page or tweet is a lot easier than trying to understand a person’s personality, likes and dislikes in order to effectively find them a viable mate. Sure, you can screen social media people to find the person you vibe best with, but unless they have a background in matchmaking I see disaster in this poster’s future.
As if that’s not bad enough, reading the ad only solidifies that this poster is interested in dating, but not enough to give it the time it deserves. They don’t even want to take the time to set up a call with potential mates on their own. All of this is being done through the social media handler. So, in reality, their social media handler is the one building and creating a rapport with these would be dates. So, how would the poster be able to seriously have a conversation with these would be mates? Is the poster expecting to read over emails written between their handler and the potential mate? See how this wonky?
My issue with this is that this poster is approaching dating as if they were asking their executive assistant to make a doctor’s appointment for them. It’s all clinical and business. Nothing in that ad reads as if this person genuinely has a desire to date, rather it’s what is expected of them because they’ve reached a point in their career where being single isn’t doing them any favors anymore.
And quite frankly, as a woman, I would be skeeved at the thought of a glorified personal assistant picking a mate for a man I met online and then baiting and switching me into a call with what would amount to a perfect stranger. It’s hard enough to weed the slightly off beat from the truly creeptastic in the online world. But to find that your potential mate didn’t even want to commit the time investment in doing the picking and choosing on their own (not including people who utilize true matchmaking services) is a bit of an insult.
Relationships take time and effort – end of story, period dot. So, if you are not willing to put in the effort to source your mate, it’s hard to believe that you’re going to be willing to give a relationship the real time and attention it deserves. In short, I understand the reasoning behind this person’s post, but I don’t see this ending in positive results.