Dating. The final frontier. These are the moments where every relationship starts. It’s routine mission: to explore each other, to build out a new life and commitment, to boldly go where neither person has ever gone before….
Ok pretty dramatic but it’s true. Every relationship is an adventure, that’s how you should see it at least. Every relationship has a start, middle and ending. Now for most of us, somewhere in there something usually happenes and it ends. Someone find’s out about a lie, habit, history, attitude, lifestyle or appearance that either didn’t sit well or ruined an image that was beginning to be built. It’s happenes to all of us. But there’s a trick in realizing the process. A trick that makes it easier to understand what’s happening.
It happens quickly. You wake up one morning and the relationship is over. You’re not sure what happened, what was said or found out. Everything was going great but somewhere along the voyage something went off course. Or maybe you saw it coming but tried to steer back on course. It’s OK whatever the reason and here’s why. You have a particular fit. Someone who has a job, doesn’t smoke, has a car and doesn’t live with mom. If someone comes along and doesn’t fit those points, well your ready to move on. That’s good because you’ve come to realize that your points are rules you need to follow for whatever the reason maybe. In the beginning of a relationship those rules need to be applied. It’s being respectful to you and to the other person. Rules not followed will result in bitterness or resentment later (guaranteed) in the relationship.
So I devised a list of 10 rules. If you take one away as meaning something to you, great! They’re not meant to be followed in any order or at all. They’re just meant to give you a lil insight into yourself and maybe into the other person.
- In the beginning it’s ok to jump ship at any time. Doing it in a respectful way is always more beneficial to everyone but sadly sometimes can’t be provided.
- Nothing more than excitement should be fed in the beginning of a relationship. If hopes and expectations are already established for a long and lasting relationship by the time the movie starts on the first date, yeah you’re both screwed.
- Remember it’s a process of elimination. Not every date will have a second and not every evening will end happily.
- You are the top prize and in realizing that you need to act like it.
- Sex is not the point of the evening (but if you think it is then you should openly look for that and not expect it).
- If he/she doesn’t call the next day, it’s ok. It just means that they decided they couldn’t live up to your standard.
- Realize where your bar is. You can’t expect to build a lasting relationship when your bar is either far above or below your dates…
- You’re not looking to change yourself or the other person. You are too good for that. It’s like buying a book but rewriting the whole thing to end to you’re liking. It doesn’t work that way.
- Know what you need and don’t compromise those needs.
- NO MEANS NO. If it’s said by you or the other person, just walk away (in some cases RUNAWAY).
We all want to be Captain Kirk and have the moment of passion at the end of the show where he’s kissing the alien princess passionately on the lips. But we tend to forget that he went through a lot of alien lips before he got to those. I’m sure Captain Kirk isn’t proud of every one of his “expeditions” but he realized that they were necessary.. To Boldly Go Where No One Has Gone Before…. OK I’ll stop now.