So here we are after military/threesome/double dance night– and we’re facing the dreaded Double Elimination.
But first a little musical frivolity for your entertainment, as Kylie Minogue regales us with a 2012 update of her 1987 remake of 1962’s “The Loco-Motion”. Fluffer-nutter pop at its best.
The first two stars to find themselves in the Red Light District are Shawn and Melissa. Shawn has successfully laughed off last night’s scolding at the hands of Len, and Melissa’s still floating on air after her 99/100 over the past two weeks.
Melissa punches her card to the semis first. Shawn, too.
Up in the Celebriquarium, Brooke is making idle chit-chat with Gilles, Emmitt, and Apolo. “We’re nervous”, “We’d hate to go home now”, “We’re giving it our all”. Yadda, yadda, yadda.
Back down among the hoi polloi, we get a routine from the cast of Newsies. Sure, it’s a heaping helping of self-serving entertainment from Disney Inc., but the whole stomping-around-on-newspapers thing is pretty cool.
After the break, the dance hall becomes a acid-trip rave as LED-sporting nubiles jam the stage for a performance by the charismatic Ne-Yo. (Mr. Yo, if you’re nasty.)
Meanwhile Brooke is still shooting the breeze with the stars, including Kirstie (whom she inexplicably calls “Kristy”), and Kelly. Wake me when someone gets eliminated.
Okay, here we go. It’s either Kirstie and Kelly who will get the boot first tonight. And since Kirstie was a full 13 1/2 points behind Boobs McGee, you gotta think–
Yup, the always-bubbly Ms. Alley’s time is up.
To kill a little more time, we get a video package from the pros. “We’re nervous”, “We’d hate to go home now”, “We’re giving it our all”. Sounds oddly familiar.
In advance of next week’s non-Michael Jackson dances we’re back to the 4th grade kickball pick ’em portion of the program. The producers have mashed a character and a new dance style together, and the couples (after they finish scratching their heads) make their choices:
Kelly picks “Caveman” Hustle for Melissa.
Emmitt picks “Knight Rider” Banghra for Shawn.
Apolo picks “Mad Monk” Merengue for Gilles.
Gilles picks “Big Top” Jazz for Apolo.
Shawn picks “Espionage” Lindy Hop for Emmitt.
And Kelly is stuck with “Surfer” Flamenco.
Sheesh, it’s almost worth being eliminated to avoid having to go down those roads.
There’s time for one more pro routine before the second elimination, as Anna, Val, and a coupla NYC Ballet-ers float across the floor to Christina Perri’s “A Thousand Years”. Really, really nice. Seriously.
And so, the three fellas are facing elimination square in the face, as Emmitt, Gilles, and Apolo bask in the soft, red light of Elimination Station– all within a point of each other… two former Mirrorball-hoisters, along with Gilles, who lost out to Shawn in Season 8 by less than 1%.
Emmitt is through to the semis first.
…and Apolo will join him there.
But Gilles, alas, is not as lucky.
Gotta admit I’m a little shocked. Not Sabrina-shocked, but still shocked.
And worst of all, we’ll never get to see what a “Mad Monk” Meringue looks like.
Next week, it’s Bad Week in the ballroom, as the couples hoof it to Michael Jackson tunes. See you then.
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