#9: Nicole Polizzi
Claim to fame: Having a lot of sex and drinking a lot of alcohol.
- Jersey Shore
- WWE Raw
- The Three Stooges
- Snooki and JWoww vs. The World
“Study hard, but party harder.”
Jersey Shore is likely that other show that everyone expected to get a mention, even though MTV has already answered many a prayer by confirming that this would be the final season of Jersey Shore.
It took about ten minutes for the concept of a bunch of meat-headed oompa-loompa lookalikes constantly throwing up, falling over and fighting over who is having sex with whom to get old, yet the abomination somehow persisted for six seasons. They even went so far as to send the entire cast to Italy for one season, as if they wanted to absolutely guarantee that the stereotype of the ugly American persisted.
But as tempting as it would have been to put the entire cast on the wanted list, there are only two serious offenders: Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino, and Nichole “Snooki” Polizzi. Both were infamous for their bad behavior, both tried to promote themselves heavily in any medium that would have them, and both failed pretty horribly on all accounts.
But apart from the fact that Sorrentino never appeared on WWE Raw, or was never caught on camera taking a leak on the grass outside their house, what really sets Polizzi so much lower on the scale than Sorrentino has been her defiance.
Sorrentino, for his part, has never lashed out at any of his critics, not even when it came to the drama between he and Abercrombie & Fitch (who first offered to pay him to stop wearing their clothes, then released apparel with the slogan “The Fitchuation”).
Not so for Polizzi.
As Polizzi began to respond to her critics, it wasn’t long before a pattern emerged: Snooki apparently assumed everyone was really just jealous because they weren’t tan and Italian.
In response to criticism from The View’s Joy Behar, Polizzi, along with fellow dreg Jennifer “JWoww” Farley, made a video in which they referred to Behar as “an Italian wannabe,” as well as accusing her of being fat, old, and strangely enough, Jewish.
For the record, Joy Behar is not Jewish.
Also for the record, neither Polizzi nor Farley are Italian.
Yet the assumption of Italian tan envy persisted when Polizzi took on, of all people, President Obama, over, of all things, a proposed tax on tanning.
“I don’t go tanning-tanning anymore because Obama put a 10 percent tax on tanning,” she said during one episode. “And I feel like he did that intentionally for us.”
As if her delusions of importance were not depressing by themselves, she went on to say “McCain would have never put a 10 percent tax on tanning. Because he’s pale, so he’d probably want to be tan.”
Inexplicably, Polizzi was even paid a reported $32K to speak at Rutger’s University, where her advice to the students assembled was to “Study hard, but party harder.”
For three years, Polizzi has made a living off of drinking, partying, and yelling that all of her critics were just jealous of her skin tone. Now it’s time for the party to end, and for MTV and their cameras to stay home from the next one.
Drunken exploitation is obsolete anyway. If anyone really wants to see video of idiots throwing up and falling over, they need look no further than Youtube for that.
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