Parents of the modern day are all-encompassing caregivers. They bear their children, raise them and expect that one day they will be able to move on to their own lives. This does happen but not as it used to. Traditional parents are somewhat a thing of the past.
Today, kids leave the nest only to return and on top of that, many times a parent’s parent also moves in with the family because the cost of living in a nursing home or care center is too expensive or the costs are not covered by Medicare or supplemental insurance policies. Now the parent is parenting the parent!
If a family is ‘lucky’ enough to get the elderly into a care center, the worry is far from over! More and more we are hearing cases of elderly abuse while the loved ones are housed in these ‘care’ centers. This gives the traditional parent even more to be concerned about!
Sometimes it is hard to determine if there actually is abuse. It may just look like small accidents begin to occur. Besides that the abuse may not always be physical, the abuse may likely be emotional or even financial!
Take for example Feliciana. This woman was able to financially afford to be placed in an assisted living center that was personally owned and not a commercial residence so the family was feeling great that they were able to obtain this level of care for her. At first it appeared to be a great deal and the family was happy.
As the years progressed on, the abuse was subtle. It was not evident that the caregiver was stressed or that the people that she hired were not as carefully screened as they should have been.
First personal items came up missing, beginning with costume jewelry. Alright, the family thought, grandma does have Alzheimers, perhaps things are just getting misplaced. It was brought up to the owner of the facility and the family was assured it would be looked into. It was hard to distinguish though if it ever was because clothing (right down to Feliciana’s socks!) continued to disappear.
Then she began to call for home. All Feliciana did was cry and beg to go home. Okay, this can actually be normal, too. It was not until the physical abuse became noticeable that the family felt confident that there was abuse. How in the world can a 90-plus year-old, strapped into a wheelchair during the day and in a bed with bars at night fall and break her arm in multiple spots?
The family had had it up to their ears with filing reports that were never looked into – either from the residence or the state, so they did what they had to do and placed Feliciana in a new home. A week later, happy as a clam, the elderly lady passed away. She finally found her peace.
It is this type of situation though that forbids peace from a family. This traditional family will live forever with the understanding that their elderly loved one suffered abuse at the hands of her caregiver. This is just one example of the stress that the old-time ‘traditional’ parents now have to be aware of!