This is a time of year that can be both lovely and difficult. It can bring family and friends together and it can remind you of the people you miss. Sometimes the feeling of loss is more powerful than everything else and it’s a struggle to focus on the good things. New Year’s Eve itself is a tricky holiday. For many people, it triggers a panic to find somebody, anybody, to kiss at midnight! “I can’t start another year alone!” is a statement that also means, “something must be wrong with me…” We’ve all felt that (whether we want to admit it or not) and it’s never pleasant. So what are you supposed to do about it?
A few days ago, I was watching tv with my mom, and a commercial for New Year’s Rockin Eve came on. My mom said, “I’ve always hated New Year’s Eve.” I said, “I get sick of people whining about not having anyone to kiss! Good googely moogely, I had someone to kiss on New Year’s ONE time in my life, and look how frikkin well THAT turned out for me… (giggle/snort) That N.Y.E. kiss is definitely not a magical harbinger of a positive outcome!” After the withering glance she gave me, Mom admitted I had a point (AND that I’m funny).
Am I a little bummed that I don’t have someone to kiss this year? Yes. Am I going to let that dictate how much I enjoy the festivities and define who I am? No. That would be silly. And I don’t do silly unless I find it amusing. I think what we all need to do is adjust our attitudes regarding the ‘someone to kiss’ dilemma. First of all, I am actually glad that I didn’t settle for a few of my ghosts of relationships past. The short-term heartache I felt is nothing compared to the lifetime of unpleasantries I would have signed myself up for had I stayed.
The truly great thing I (and lots of people) should and will focus on instead of settling in for a night of downtrodden single girl depression: I have friends to spend the holidays with. The kind of friends who really know me…. and love me anyway. They are what I call “the family I chose.” I am seriously lucky to have them in my life. We can cry about things and we can laugh about them, too. Often we do both. I know how they like their coffee and what it means when only ONE eyebrow gets raised, they know that when I get really quiet it’s because I’m trying to edit what I say before I say it. My best friend and I often laugh in harmony and finish each other’s sentences. So, yes, I’m still single right now. But I don’t have to be too depressed about it, because I’m not alone. Focus on your friends; on the people who are always there for you. Start 2013 focusing on the good in your life. You might be surprised how much there really is.